104th Squad Confessions
by nuni411
Summary: It's hard to live life when you have a die hard crush on your adoptive brother (not to mention the fact all he seems to care about is killing Titans.) Mikasa tries to confess to him over a week long period only to mess up and start even more misunderstandings with the rest of the squad, leading to more confessions in the process.
1. Prolouge

A/N: Second fic, hoping it'll turn out okay. Sorry for my amateur writing skills;; Hoping to reach some fellow EreMika shippers out there. Thinking of doing multiple confessions for other characters in SNK too. Tell me what you think about it :)

**Update: (3/16/14) Chapter updates will start in a week or two! DX Sorry for taking long but I have to plan the story out and I'm in the middle of writing the next chapter. Plus I have art stuff to do for my friend's upcoming b-day :) Please be patient for the few of you following already and thanks a lot. See you later!**

* * *

Mikasa's been strong up until now. It's always just been that way. When she was young, she used to protect Armin and Eren from the bullies back home. Eren would run off, full speed ahead, with a fire burning in his eyes, determined to set those little pricks straight, even though he was considerably weaker than them. Not to mention the fact he'd always lose to them regardless of wether they were stronger than him or not. It's a surprise he'd actually go back each time, more fired up than the last. They'd always run away when they caught sight of him, or rather _Mikasa,_ running behind him with her usual stoic expression, only this time it had a touch of, _'You better run right now if you know what's good for you.'_ Eren would always get excited when they'd scatter about, running away in fear of him (or rather _Mikasa._) He'd turn around, very prideful in the fact that they'd run away just at the sight of him (or at least he thought of it that way, Mikasa could let him dream once in a while right?) Afterwards, they'd both check on Armin to see if he was okay. Eren would reach out for his hand to help him up (since Armin's other arm would be holding one of those books of his) and Mikasa would tend to his injuries (Mrs. Jaeger taught her everything she knew since her biological mother died.) Eren would then brag about it all the way home, excited to tell their mom about how scared the bullies were when they saw him and how they knew not to mess with him.

Their mother told her to take care of him and protect him, so that's what she did and has been doing all this time. The younger Mikasa would be content just seeing him happy, but it wasn't like that right now. They grew up, in a physical sense anyway. Being 15 and having a die hard crush on your adoptive brother who only seemed to care about killing Titans was hard. But still, she wanted more. She _needed more_. Every time she sees him, her knees buckle and give in to weakness. She gets butterflies in her stomach just trying to talk to him, sometimes even stuttering or mispronouncing a simple word. She's been more reserved than usual because of this, almost embarrassed to speak. Just making eye contact with him makes her avert her gaze, only to look back down in shame at how weak she'd become. She'd get sweaty palms and be afraid to touch him, hoping to not creep him out with her stiffness. Her cheeks would redden every now and then, a dirty thought creeping into her mind. She tries to tell herself that they're just family, to keep denying her feelings. But she can't anymore. She thinks about him way too much, in fact, _he's_ all she thinks about.

She loves the way his eyes shine so brightly, how he always looks at her with confidence and determination, how he's always so straightforward and blunt (even though it might hurt her a bit sometimes, though she doesn't show it). She wants to tell him, to confess, to just let it all out. She really does, but her mind and body won't let her. She just gets too nervous and makes up some excuse to cover it all up. But today…today would be that day she'd tell herself. And with that, she finishes getting dressed in her uniform, ready to start the day off with a bang. She adjusts her scarf a bit, worrying if he thinks it'll look good on her or not, even though she's been wearing it every day for years now which is really silly. Mikasa walks toward the door and takes a deep breath in, trying to calm herself down as much as possible. She can't slip up today. Her hand wearily reaches for the rusty knob and she turns it, hearing a click as the door creaks open, and walks out, hoping it'll all turn out better than expected.


	2. How Embarassing

**A/N: **Sorry I'm really late guys! Some stuff happened and I was also busy with school;; Thanks for the few followers who like my crappy excuse for a fic lol! Hopefully, it'll get better from here on out! I'm expecting to regularly update from her on out at least once a week. Sorry if this chapter is kind of short. Please review and enjoy :)

* * *

**Day 1**

_Okay. _

_All I have to do is confess right? It can't be that hard...I mean, titan-slaying is easy. This shouldn't be that difficult...right? _

She sighs as she closes the door to her room and turns on her heel, walking down the hallway. She starts walking faster now, her heart fluttering in anticipation.

_Wait...but what if he doesn't feel the same way? _

Her pace begins to gradually slowing down, thinking of all the possible ways she could get turned down. Mikasa drops her head, clenching her fists.

_Does...Does he really think of me as _just_ family?_

Her brows furrow in confusion, unable to determine which way he'd sway. There were a million questions running through her head and they all just happened to be about Eren. Did he see her as a _sister_...or did he see her as a _woman?_ Was he attracted to her _at all_? Did she even have a chance?

_What if...what if he likes someone else?_

She stops for a moment to lift her hand to her chest, feeling her heartbeat quicken like it did only moments ago. To feel it beat furiously like it did last night, thinking about him like she was thinking about him now. Not like it helped though. She couldn't sleep at all.

She sighed internally_...I need to talk to Armin about this. _

Mikasa lifts up her head, looking forward once more, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, and starts walking again.

_Now lets see. _

_When should I do it? _she pondered.

_After training...? _

_Before curfew...? _

_...But before that I need some serious help with-_

"Mmpf!" she grunts, falling back onto the wooden floor, interrupting her train of thought.

"Ack!" she hears, as the other individual falls as well. She hears glass breaking and she feels a splash of liquid come over her.

She rolls over and props herself on her elbows, drenched in some unknown liquid. It had a citrusy smell to it so she assumed it was orange juice. Afterall, it was breakfast time. She also took into account that her room was the only one around this corner.

_Was someone going to bring me breakfast in bed? _

She rubbed her eyes with her sleeve, trying to wipe away the orange juice. Mikasa's eyes fluttered open, straining to focus on what was in front of her.

"_Ah crap._ I'm real sorry Mikasa...I-I swear I didn't mean it! I-It was an accident!" he said apologetically, gently grasping her shoulders, shaking her a bit. The voice sounded familiar. '_Eren? Wait, no. This voice is too husky to be his...' _Her vision slowly came back into focus.

_Jean?_

"It's...It's alright." she said, trying to sound understanding, even though she was a bit mad that she would have to re-do her morning routine all over again. (_Thinking about Eren took up a good portion of it though.)_ Nonetheless, she kept her composure, like usual. "It was just an accident. I'm fine, really."

His expression eased a bit, but he still looked worried.

"No it's not fine. Look at you. I'm the one who bumped into you and got you all... messy. You have a cut on your finger Mikasa. I'm sorry. It's my fault for being so stupid." he says, trying to assure her, to take all the blame even though she wasn't really looking where she was going either.

"Jean, it's oka-"

"Here."

He released her from his grasp and got up from his crouched position. His arm reached out and he extended his hand, gesturing for her to grab on. He gave her the usual smirk he always does. Mikasa sighs, knowing he still wont budge.

_I might as well take his offer_. She reaches for his hand and grasps it firmly. '_Wow. I never thought his hand would be so rough.'_ He does the same and pulls her up, almost a bit too quickly. This catches her off guard and she stumbles a bit, ending up leaning against him. She can feel him get stiff as soon as they make contact. She looks up at his face, trying to study his expression. He can't make eye contact with her and his pupils start darting left and right, trying to look anywhere but her. He's started to blush too.

"What's wrong?" she asks, clearly confused. _It was just a misstep right? Physical contact is no big deal._

"I-I...um...t-that is...I-I'll clean up here and..uh, y-you go change." he says, stuttering like crazy. His hands are flailing around and he's going from fiddling his thumbs to nervously scratching the back of his head, _still_ not making eye contact. It's like for each word that comes out of his mouth, the more flustered he becomes.

He pushes her away and turns her around. He starts picking up the parts of _what used to be the breakfast_, dropping pieces here and there and muttering '_Oh my god_'s and '_What the hell'_s every now and then, with a bit of '_What the f*ck is wrong with you Jean_' over and over.

"Alright then... I'll, um, see you later Jean." She says, still puzzled. "Oh, and tell everyone that I might take a while, alright?" she adds.

"O-Okay." he says, still nervous.

She waves him a goodbye and turns on her heel once more, turning the corner and walking back through the hallway to her room.

_Why was he so flustered? I mean, Jean's always like this around me but..this time it seemed...different._

She turns the rusty knob, hearing the lock click once again. The drenched girl enters her room, closing the door behind her, and awkwardly walks to her mirror, leaving a trail of juice drops behind her. The juice seeped into certain places she didn't want them in. She looks at herself in the mirror, turning to the side, lifting up her arms, checking here and there.

_Wow. _

_It's everywhere isn't it? _

_..Look at this, my sleeves are all wet._

_Why was he even carrying a pitcher of that stuff anyway? Did he really think I'd drink that much? _She chuckles a bit, before frowning slightly.

She places a hand on her head, twirling her fingers between a couple strands of her hair._ My hair's all sticky now. _

Her hand moves down to the cloth wrapped around her neck._ My scarf..._

She grabs it, feeling it dripping wet with juice. _What is Eren going to say?_

She sighs again, eyes traveling past her collar bone.

_The same goes for my..shirt_

_...too._

"Oh."

That's all she says as she finally realizes why Jean was so flustered. The orange juice made her shirt not only stick against her body, but it also made it see through, giving Jean a rather nice view of her. Or rather, the area he noticed the most, her _chest area._

_Then..that means..._

Her eyes widen as her lips part in shock. Mikasa felt her face heat up as a blush crept onto her cheeks. She looked down in embarrassment. Her hand moved up to tug at her scarf as she pulled it up to hide her face, the way she usually does when she's embarrassed. She does it to hide her emotions, to hide the fact that she can be emotional like everyone else although she doesn't seem like it. Usually, she does it to hide her feelings from Eren. Sometimes she does it for comfort. His smell always seems to calm her down.

_Oh right. _

_Eren's scent is gone...All that's left is this citrus smell.._ She slumps down against the wall and buries her head into her arms, feeling dejected, thinking about how this wasn't a good start to the day.

_I need to take a bath..._

* * *

"-right. And then I was like '_Here_' and I stuck my hand out all cool-like so she could grab it and that's when she slipped a bit and she ended up leaning on me and-!"

"Wait, Jean, slow down." Armin said, unable to keep track of why Jean was so excited this early in the morning.

"Yeah, dumbass. We can't tell a thing you're saying!" Connie adds in agreement, putting his hands up in the air out of frustration.

Jean was never a morning person so this kind of behavior was odd. Unless, if it came down to Mikasa of course. But nothing ever really happens this early in the day. He took a deep breath in to calm down and recollect himself as he began again.

"Alright. So you know how yesterday she said she wasn't feeling well? I thought it would be nice if I brought her breakfast. You know, maybe she'd look at me for once instead of," Jean pauses to look disgustedly at Eren," _that idiot over there..."_ he said in an angry whisper.

"I can hear you talking shit,_ horse face_!" Eren said from a distance, angrily walking over to the table. He was just training with Levi a few moments ago while Hanji recorded the entire event, writing down as much as she could, hoping it would help her find out about any latent hardening abilities that might reside within the young titan shifter. Levi kicked Eren's ass again so today wouldn't be much different from yesterday...or the day before that...pretty much _every single time_ they've trained in hand to hand combat. Levi's always beaten everyone at hand-to-hand combat. The only person he's ever tied with is Mikasa, not surprisingly. It's been 2 weeks since they moved to this hidden location as Levi's new squad so everyone was still trying to adjust. Sasha, being Sasha of course, was still asleep in her room upstairs. They all tried to wake her up earlier but she wouldn't budge. It's a miracle Levi hasn't found out yet. Christa was walking around outside for a stroll. She'd distanced herself from the whole group ever since they've moved in here. They just all sort of decided to leave it alone.

"What're you gonna do about it, _momma's boy_?" Eren's eyes widened, taken back by what he said. He felt a vein throbbing in his forehead as his lips curved downwards, forming a scowl. He gritted his teeth and lunged at Jean.

"Oh that's it you mother fuc-_mmpf mmm_!" Armin covered both of their mouths to prevent any arguing. '_It's like every time they see each other they want to argue. It just gets even more ridiculous each time...' _Armin thinks, internally sighing.

"Alright alright. Break it up you two. No more fighting." He pushed the two of them farther apart and finally let go, after some struggling that is.

They both glared at each other furiously until Eren turned away, walking back to the kitchen table they were all gathered around before the little scuffle. He pulled over a chair and sat himself next to Armin. The blonde turned to Jean and told him to continue where he left off.

"Okay. So before Eren _**rudely** interrupted-_"

"_Dipshit-"_

_"**As I was**_** saying-" **

*ahem* "-_Asshole_-"

"-Eren _please_..." Armin interrupts, whacking him light on the head. Jean paused, glaring at Eren ,who was immaturely sticking his tongue out at him, but he decided to ignore this and continued anyways.

"..I was trying to be nice to Mikasa and bring her breakfast since I heard she wasn't feeling well yesterday, you know, after she was talking to this jerk over here." he said, pointing directly at Eren, who responded with a "Hey!". "I was walking to her room but as soon as I turned to corner we ran into each other and, uh, everything just sort of...spilled over...the entire pitcher of orange juice actually..." Jean looked down, twiddling his thumbs.

"What!? You spilled juice? On _the_ Mikasa Ackerman!?" Connie asked, surprised such a thing could even happen to the second strongest soldier of humanity.

"Ahhhh. So that's why you were so flustered." Armin said, crossing his arms and nodding his head at this new found information.

"Wait, what do mean by flustered? -And besides that, really _horse face_?...An_ entire pitcher_ of orange juice? What, did you think she was gonna do? Gulp down the whole thing?" Eren laughed and pointed his finger at Jean, who started pouting at this. "_Pfft_. You're more of an idiot than I'd thought you'd be!" He banged his fist on the table at how hilarious this whole thing was. "What, were you gonna try and eat with her? I thought horses only ate carrots! Pffffft. Hahahahaha-!" He bent over, still laughing, and wiped a couple tears from his eyes. He noticed Jean never responded back with an insult like he usually would. '_What the hell, usually he'd call me a dick but he's just looking down and playing with his hands...'_

_"_Wait...You were gonna eat breakfast _with_ her...actually, with _her?" _Eren asked, shocked Jean would even think of having a little date with his adoptive sister, if you could even call it that.

"...Mm-hmm." was all Jean could manage. He nodded his head, answering the question. He felt too embarrassed to even speak.

"...but you ended up spilling orange juice on her, breaking a plate, the pitcher, _and_ wasting a good breakfast?" Eren asked, eyeing him down. "..and the reason you became the _weakling_ you are right now is..?"

Jean rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he continued. "...Uh..well, when we bumped into each other, you see, the juice spilled mostly onto her and I-I didn't notice it at first, but when I pulled her up she was completely d-drenched...Her shirt was-"

"-completely...see-through...right?" Eren finished, realizing why he'd seen him so giddy during his training session. He stood up and leaned over the table. The boy grabbed Jean's collar and pulled him in closer, shaking him violently. "You freakin' prick! You saw her tits didn't you? Oh, how_ happy_ you must have been-!"

"-It's not like I meant to! T-They were just there!"

"Oh yeah, _suuuure_, like that must've stopped you from getting a good look at her!" he added sarcastically. "You piss me off-!" He raised his fist, ready to knock Jean's lights out and just sock him in the face but Armin and Connie held him back.

"Woah, there! Think before you act, Eren! You can't just go punching people just because they did something you disliked! We're not kids anymore!"

"Armin's right, Eren! You needa calm down!" Connie added, struggling to hold him back.

Eren was silent for a while, but lowered his fist. He let go of Jean and threw him against the floor. He glared at him for a good minute before he spoke again, turning around. "I'm...I'm gonna go check on Mikasa." He stormed off and headed for the staircase, stomping on each step. His anger got the best of him. _'It's not fair. That prick saw her like that and I wasn't there to cover her up. I could've protected her and shown her that I can take care of her just as good as she does for me. Besides, I've known her way longer than that prick, it should've been me taking a peek, not this assho-wait, no no no. Geez, what am I saying.' _He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Ugh." Jean grunted as Connie and Armin helped him up. "He didn't need to get that pissed off. It was just an accident. Tch, this is why I can't stand him..."

* * *

Mikasa tilts her head back, sinking deeper into the tub. She closes her eyes and lets the relaxation flow through her body. This is just what she needed. A fresh start to the day might help her better express her feelings for Eren.

_He saved me all those years ago..._

_When mom and dad were killed and I got kidnapped, he saved me. _

_If Dr. Jaeger and Eren wait for the authorities to come, who knows where I could've been by now. They wouldn't have made it in time..._

_I practically owe my life to him. He gave me a new family..._

_...a new home _

_...a new friend_

_...he gave me everything I needed to be the person I am now_

_...and I..._

_-I love him for that._

_But...does he feel that way too? _

She covers her eyes with her arm and purses her lips. She feels her heart sink at the thought of being turned down.

Rejected.

Thrown away.

_Can I really do it...? _She asks herself as she stands up, dripping wet. Her hand reaches for her towel, but instead she finds herself grasping air.

_I guess I must have left on my bed. _

She takes a step out of the tub, one foot landing softly on the cold tiles, the other following suit. Mikasa turns to the sink, holding it on both sides, staring deeply into the mirror. She takes a deep breath and slaps her face 3 times for good measure. _Alright. I can do this. _She reaches toward the knob but stops after hearing rustling in her room. _Sasha? _She grabs the knob again and turns it to the side, hearing that satisfying click. She pushes the door open, expecting Sasha to be rummaging through her belongings, looking for food again.

"Sasha, I thought I already told you I-" she pauses. _OhmygodErenwhy-!  
_

"Hey I came to check on you and-_my god! W-why are you n-n-naked_!?"

What a way to start off a day, huh?


	3. Can't Stop Loving You

**Recap:** Jean spills juice on Mikasa, sees the goods. Both embarrased, she goes to take a shower. Eren finds out, gets pissed off, goes to check on the bae. Reads bae's journal, gets feely. Bae comes out of the shower, _without a towel,_ sees her naked. Stupidity ensues.

_**Trigger Warning:** Mentions of death_

_See bottom for Author's Notes_

* * *

_'It's not fair. That prick saw her like that and I wasn't there to cover her up. I could've protected her and shown her that I can take care of her just as good as she does for me. Besides, I've known her way longer than he has, it should've been me taking a peek, not this assho-wait, no no no. Geez, what am I saying.' _He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

Eren got to the top of staircase and continued walking down the hallway. He passed Jean and Connie's room first and sucked his teeth, his rage from earlier resurfacing. He went into the closet a few steps away from him and pulled out a bucket and a step ladder. He looked down at Sasha, unsurprised, and sighed, shaking his head. _'So this is where she was...looks like she ate the rest of the food stash...Man, when Levi-heichou finds her...' _Eren closed the door, pitying Sasha's future, unfortunate demise. He smiled a bit, walking back towards Jean's room. Each room had a bathroom which was convenient in times like these. He set down the ladder near the door and walked over to the bathroom, bucket in hand. He filled the bucket with water and carried it back to the door. The boy cautiously climbed up the step ladder, careful not to spill anything. He set the bucket on top of the door, smirking. _'Maybe this water'll wash his pervertedness away. Damn horse. This is what he gets for being an idiot.'_ He hopped of the step ladder, grabbed it, and squeezed himself carefully through the door's opening, careful not to spill anything on himself, and walked towards the closet and placing the ladder back inside next to Sasha's sleeping form.

He continued along the hallway, passing by his and Armin's room, and turned the corner. He stopped in his tracks however, feeling his boots were getting sticky. He looked down to the floor, disgusted by the mess Jean had made. _'That smartass. He didn't even clean up properly. He's gonna get a mouthful from heichou later...*sigh* I guess I'll clean it for him. We can't have it staying like this...Well, after I'm done checking up on Mikasa that is.' _He tried to step carefully along the rest of the hallway, not wanting to make his boots even stickier.

He stopped in front of Mikasa's door, lifting up his hand to knock. His heart thumped loudly against his chest and he gulped down, nervous of what lied beyond the door. _'I..I haven't spoken to her that much since we got here...ever since the last mission, things have been...weird...between us...Oh well, I might as well try anyways.' _Eren knocked on the door, but heard nothing. He knocked again, same thing. "Hey, Mikasa...It's me, Eren. I'm...I'm coming in!" He grabbed hold of the rusty doorknob and turned it, slowing opening the door and taking a peek.

"Huh...no one's here...I guess I'll take a look around then. I'm sure she won't mind."

He looked around the room. The first thing he saw was a mirror. He walked up to it and stared back at himself. Eren started doing ridiculous poses in the mirror, flexing his muscles as best he could. He dropped to his knees, attempting to make himself look short and parted his hair to down the middle, trying to make both sides look even. His voiced dropped in pitch and he squinted angrily, tilting his head up a bit.

"_You shitty little brats._" He mimicked, in a condescending tone. He sighed the way heichou sighs all the time."_Haaaahh~ I swear I might just end up killing all of you before the titans do. Little pricks._"

Eren laughed to himself and got back up again, dusting himself off. Opposite from the door he entered was the bathroom. The bathroom door was closed and he didn't need to relieve himself at the moment so he decided to explore that later. He turned his head to the right, spotting a bunk bed. The top bunk was an absolute mess. There was a pile of clothes and scraps of food here and there. "Definitely Sasha's." he said, not surprised. The bottom bunk was already made and it was nice and clean. There was, however, a small notebook on it. He walked towards the bed, and lied down. '_This is where she sleeps every night...It's really soft. Kinda smells like her too..._' He rolled over, grabbing the notebook.

"My Journal-" he read aloud, "-property of Mikasa Ackerman." He was surprised someone like Mikasa kept a journal. He was interested to read what was inside.

_Page 18_

_Eren wouldn't listen to me. No matter how much I try to convince him, he's still stuck on this stupid idea of being a soldier. I can't leave him alone, I have to protect him. He always tries to run off somewhere without me...It seems as if mom's death made him even more determined...I wonder if he'll ever be the same like he used to be. He was so kind...I mean, he still is...but I'm sure he's locked up his feelings deep inside. He snapped on me today when I told him I'd go with him to the front lines...to not treat him like 'a little brother anymore.' All I want to do is protect him...mom told me to and that's what I'm going to keep on doing, no matter how many times he pushes me away. _

"Why does she need to protect me, I can protect myself...Let me be your shield for once, you idiot." He murmured. He skipped a some pages.

_Page 21_

_Some imbecile was trying to get his cart through the gate and blocked the opening. The civilians couldn't get through so I had to take care of him. Lucky for him though, he chose his life over his business. The people could finally get through. A little girl thanked me for killing the titan off from before and I saluted her. I never wanted to be a soldier in the first place...I only tagged along because of Eren but...being thanked feels nice. I'm currently heading for the front lines, Eren and Armin should be done by now._

_... _

_I met up with the others. Eren isn't around. I panicked. I went over to Armin and asked him where he was. He just shook his head desperately and cried. The look he gave me...I..I just knew..._

_...the person most important to me._

_...the person that gave me a reason to live._

_...the person who gave me a new family, a new home, a new friend..._

_...the one I care for the most. He's gone... _

Eren felt his heart sink. He looked down at the page, some of the words wobbly from stains of droplets. _'Tears...? She cried...Mikasa cried for me...I made her cry...' _He skipped ahead several pages._  
_

Page 45

_Right now I'm with Sasha in the trees. We're supposed to attract the titans towards the edge of the forest...You know, from this height, they look really small. Almost like ants..._

_I wonder if that's how they see us..._

Her writing seemed really rushed after that.

_...I just heard a roar in the forest. It must be Eren's! I'm going to go investigate. I'll write later._

_Page 49 _

_Eren was taken by Annie. I was going to go after her but that damned shorty...he stopped me from doing so...Although I hate him with a passion...if he hadn't made me pull back...She would've killed me... He even broke his leg just to save me...I'll thank him for that later,but Eren he..._

Eren skipped ahead once more.

_Page 63_

_Eren was taken away again...Why does it always have to be this way? Why can't he stay put? He always runs off ahead, leaving me and Armin behind. Doesn't he see how important he is to the both of us? ...To me? Afterall I - - more than the world itself. I can't - - -.  
_

The next few words were crossed out so Eren couldn't make out what they were. He continued reading her thoughts. He was so intrigued by everything he read. Mikasa and him never got to talk about things this personal so it was interesting to see what went on in her head.

_Page 67_

_It's hard to believe all of that happened...I gave up on life again...I broke our promise for a second time...it was really hard to believe we'd make it out alive. Armin was holding onto Jean, who was unconscious, while fending off a titan. Commander Erwin lost an arm while leading us into the battlefield. Reiner was throwing titans at us. After all this time trying to capture Eren, he's resorted to trying to kill us all? Or was there some other motive? Hannes sacrificed himself for us...he died right in front of us. I lost family again. The titans...they surrounded us everywhere...I thought it really was the end. _

_So I thanked Eren, for saving my life. _

_...for giving me a new home and a new family. _

_...for teaching me how to keep on living._

_...for giving me a new life. _

_...for wrapping this muffler around me that day. _

_I almost did _it._ I would've been so happy if I did...But he moved away at the last second. I thought he was pushing me away again. Instead, he told me he'd wrap it around me as many times as I want and from then on, we'd be together. I..was so happy he said that. It made me feel like I was important to him again...that life wasn't always about wanting to avenge mom and killing titans...that I mattered too._

Eren felt his heart thump against his chest. He pursed his lips as he set down the journal. His hands clung to the bed sheets. _'Mikasa, I'm sorry. It's not like I want push you away I just...I'm such an idiot. All I do is run my mouth and do whatever I please...all I do is stress you out...I'll apologize later.' _Eren got up from the bed and looked back at the notebook. He picked up the book again and flipped through it. He started pacing around the room.

"Let's see...lemme read the more recent pages..." He flipped through the book and found a page to set his eyes on.

_Page 82_

_We've arrived at the isolated village. Eren insists that I rest, but my muscles are getting dull. I need to keep myself in peak physical condition in order to protect him. The cracked ribs will heal soon enough..._

_Page 85_

_Eren scolded me today for going out to chop wood. He thinks I should still be resting and that I need to heal completely. It's nice that he's worried over me for a change. I think I'll cut back a bit on the physical activity-at least, when he's around that is. _

_...It feels like we've gotten a bit closer, but at the same time, we're still distant._

"Close...? But distant? What does she mean by that...?" he muttered, confusedly.

_...Back then, during that last mission, in the midst of all the chaos, did he realize? Did he realize my-_

Eren was about to turn the next page to read the rest but didn't see the beef jerky Sasha left lying on the floor and slipped, knocking over some of her belongings.

"Wait realize wha-WOah!" He fell head first banging his head on the wooden floor, notebook flying the other direction, hitting the entrance door.

"Ah...shit..." He said, wincing at the pain. He sat on his knees, rubbing his forehead. Eren got up and walked over to pick up the journal, hoping any scratches made weren't that noticeable. Who knows what Mikasa would do to him if she found out he was reading it. Just the thought of it made him shiver. He was in the middle of picking up the notebook when he heard the bathroom door creak behind him.

_'Crap!' _he thought, rushing to the hide the notebook. He slowly turned around, stuffing the book in the back of his pants.

"Um. H-hey I came to check on you and-"

"Sasha, I thought I already told you I-" she paused, eyes widening._  
_

"-_my god! W-why are you n-n-naked_!?"

* * *

There she was, in all her naked glory. Even though they lived together for a while as kids, he'd never gotten the chance to bathe with her, let alone see her naked. It was the first time he'd seen a girl naked in front of him like that. He just stared in awe._  
_

"Wow." he said, mouth gaping. He kept on staring her up and down, oblivious to her embarrassment.

"Eren. T-turn around." Mikasa said, struggling to keep her voice leveled. She tried to cover herself as best she could, but him looking at her..._like that.._.made her blush even more.

"I s-said turn around!" she yelled, her voice getting higher in pitch.

"U-uh-Right! Y-yeah! Turn around-yeah-sure!" He fumbled with his words and turned around quickly, standing stiff. '_Oh my god. How did I get myself into this situation?'_

"..."

"E-eren...um-" she mumbled, breaking the silence.

"_Yeah? What is it? Whatever-you-need." _he said, speaking with no breaks or pauses. '_Please don't notice the book in my pants. Oh lord please.'_

"...C-can you grab that towel over there to your left... _p-please_?" she asked politely. '_Get ahold of yourself Ackerman. Stay calm.'_

"Uh, yeah...Sure! Right on it." he walked over to the hook on the wall, careful to not look back, and pulling the red towel off of it. He slowly walked backwards to where he was before. He covered his eyes with his hand first before turning around and extending his other arm to give her the towel.

"Thank you, Eren." she said, finally getting her emotions under control. Her heart was pounding like crazy as she reached over to grab the towel, brushing her fingers lightly over his.

Eren slowly made an opening between his fingers to see a bit. '_You know, maybe she wont notice if I take another peek-'_

"**_Eren._**" she said in a serious tone, yanking the red fabric out of his hand and wrapping it around herself.

_'Shit.'_ he thought, gritting his teeth. He tried to pull off a cheesy smile with his terrible excuse."Ah- r-right. Sorry. M-my fingers were getting sore-"

"-_Save it." _

"...Sorry... This whole thing was an accident. I didn't mean to walk in on you like that. I...I just wanted to talk. We haven't talked much since we got here and..."

She sighed, crossing her arms. "You know, you can open your eyes now." She reached over and grabbed his hand, bringing it down to his side. His eyes fluttered open, revealing those orbs of teal green that she longed to see again. Her heart skipped a beat and she paused, nervously swallowing. She always loved the color of his eyes. It was the first thing she noticed about him, other than his determination and will power. Whenever she looked into his eyes, it seemed as if time stopped, as if she was looking into the universe itself.

"~_Mikasa," _Eren said, trying to snap her out of it. "Mikasa...you can let go of my hand now." he said, getting a little annoyed that she wasn't paying attention.

"Ah, right-" she said, quickly pulling away. "Sorry, it's just that..."

"Just what?" he asked, lifting a brow, confusedly.

She averted his gaze and flushed a bit, looking down at the wooden floor. "It's just that..."

_'Your eyes are so beautiful, Eren. Every time I look at them, I feel like my heart's going to explode.'  
_

"I need-"

'_To tell you how much you mean to me.' _she thought, but changed her mind.

"-some time alone." she said quietly, turning him around and pushing him towards the exit.

"A-ah, right. You need to get dressed. Sure. I'll, uh, see you later." He said, looking over his shoulder expectantly.

_"Yeah. S-see you later." _she whispered, pushing him out the door and shutting it as fast as she could.

She sighed, leaning her head against the door. _'Great...my day could not get worse.'_

* * *

The next few days were exactly like the start of it all...extremely embarrassing and full of stupidity. Levi was amused at their antics at first but then quickly grew tired of it. He didn't know how long he could watch this, his soul couldn't take it. When he called for everyone to "get the _fuck_ downstairs" like usual, one of them or both, would skip it all together. They'd give ridiculous excuses like 'I'm not really that hungry' or 'You can eat without me. I'm fine.' when Levi knew damn well they were both hungry, Eren especially.

At lunch, they didn't even speak to each other. Usually _everyone_ would be called to come downstairs, save for Sasha, who was found by Levi and given even more punishment. It was decided she wasn't allowed to eat for the next two days. Everyone knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. Christa didn't feel like joining the squad for lunch so she took a plate of food and walked outside to who knows where, leaving the seat opposite to Levi empty. Wether she joined in or not didn't really make a difference, she didn't speak to any of them regardless. Connie was loud like always, this time poking fun at Jean for his embarrassing encounter with Mikasa. They both sat next to each other on one side of the table, Connie sitting in Sasha's empty seat so he could arm wrestle Jean.

Armin would usually switch between talking to Jean and Connie to talking to Eren and Mikasa. The mood between them the last few days however...was _weird_ to say the least. He tried to make conversation with them but they wouldn't speak to each other _at all_. Mikasa already finished her plate, which was also unusual taking into account the fact that she often takes her time eating. Eren, who always finishes his plate first (_just to boast about how he could eat faster than Jean, of course_) was playing around with his mashed potatoes and peas, swirling his food around on the plate, taking a few bites now and then. He hadn't even touched his ham, one of his favorite foods. He left also left his carrots alone, most likely saving them for Jean. Mikasa would be scolding him about not eating enough by now.

_ 'Something's seriously wrong with the two of them.' _he thought. _'I wonder what happened...'_

He decided to speak up and ask them. "Hey you guys...did something happen? It feels like somethings off with you two-"

"Nothing!" Eren burst out, cutting him off and gaining the attention of the others in the room, "Nothing at all, Armin. We're fine. I-Isn't that right M-m-mikasa?" he struggled saying her name, cheeks flushed.

Mikasa blushed, opening her mouth to say something but ended up closing it instead. She tugged her scarf over mouth, looking down at her plate. "Yes..that's right." she mumbled. "If you'll excuse me-" she said, standing up out of her chair and pushing it in afterwards. She walked out of the dining room at a brisk pace, going towards the exit. Everyone stared as she left, perplexed. She always wanted to be by his side, right? Why would she voluntarily walk away from him after all they've been through?

"Eren..._what did you do_?" they all questioned, in unison.

"I-I didn't do anything!" he yelled, slamming his hands onto the table.

Jean glared at him hard, biting his bottom lip. He stood up abruptly, causing his chair to screech behind him, and squinted down at him. "I've never seen her act like this. You two haven't even looked at each other for the past couple of days. Tell me," he said, hardening his voice, "how'd you_ fuck up_ this time, Jeager?"

"Listen, I just-! I-!" He was at a loss of words, desperately trying to explain. ' _This is just embarrassing. __I can't tell him I saw her naked after I yelled at him for checking out her boobs a couple of days ago_..' He clenched his fists, cursing under his breath. "Excuse me, heichou. I'm not hungry." he said, standing up out of his chair and turning left to walk up the staircase. As he was leaving he shouted at Jean, giving him an eyeful, "By the way, _horse face, _it's none of your _fucking_ business. Why don't you finish my leftover carrots, they're getting kinda cold." Jean fumed, his brow twitched. "Wha-! I don't even like carrots-!"

"And while you're at it, why don'tcha graze the grass outside-_it's getting kinda tall_." he added with a smirk, finally exiting the room.

"I'm not a _goddamn_ horse! And anyway, they don't even eat grass!" he shouted back at him, slamming his hands against the table.

"You do know they don't only eat hay, right? A horses main diet actually consists of both they _can_-"

"Armin no-_not now!_" Jean hissed, hearing Eren snicker in the distance. "Told you, I was right!"

"Shut the fuck up Jaeger!"

Levi sighed, rolling his eyes. He grumbled under his breath, "Kids these days. You're all a bunch of hormonal little shits." He took another sip of tea before excusing himself as well, leaving the cabin to go take a stroll.

"I'm- um- going to talk to Eren." Armin said, pushing his and Eren's chairs in. _Of course Eren didn't clean up after himself._ He picked up all of their plates and piled them up in the middle of the table before running off after his childhood friend.

"What the hell was _that_..." Connie said after Armin left.

"What just happened..." Jean whispered, confused. "I-I'm going to go talk to her!" he yelled, leaping out of his seat and chasing after Mikasa.

"Wait- Jean!" Connie screamed, outstretching his arm to grab him, trying to get him to come back. "Ah, crap... *sigh* I might as well leave too." He rubbed his chin, thinking thoughtfully of what to do now that everyone was gone. His eyes lit up as he finally thought of something. "That's it!" He grabbed the plate full of leftovers and headed upstairs, towards the closet in the hallway. He picked the lock with a toothpick that was on the dining table and opened the door. There lied Sasha, half asleep, now stirring because of the light.

"M-Mister Potato head?" she said drowsily, rubbing her eye with the back of her hand. She squinted at him, trying to make out his figure, and started drooling happily. "Can I...can I eat you?"

Connie chuckled, lightly whacking her on the head with the palm of his hand. "No, you can't eat _me_ silly," he sighed, shaking his head, "but you _can_ eat _this_." He showed her the plate of leftover mashed potatoes, peas, and slices of ham. Sasha took a whiff of the plate, immediately snapping and turning into a savage beast, much unlike her calm self from five seconds ago. She started gobbling down the food and making a mess of herself. She looked up at Connie, still chewing. "Shank chu... sho mush Mishter Potato head-" she swallowed, licking off the rest of the grease on her fingers, and continued. "- wait, your not Mister Potato head!" she finally realized. "You..._y-you_\- you're Connie!" she burst out laughing and he joined in. "C'mon, don't just stand there, come in!" she leaned close and pulled a blushing Connie into the closet with her, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

Mikasa didn't go upstairs, she didn't want to run into Eren. After he saw her like that, she didn't know how to act around him. Her usual stoic expression was reduced to that of a blushing schoolgirl. She was acting unlike her normal self and everyone was starting to notice. She didn't know where her journal was either. She looked everywhere but couldn't find it. She decided she needed to go outside and get some fresh air, exiting through the backdoor of the cabin. Her boots crushed the grass beneath her as she walked a few meters towards the axe stuck in the stump. She grabbed the wooden handle with both hands, wedging the tool out of its place. Her right arm held onto the axe as the other got hold of a log and placed it onto the stump. There, she began chopping wood, hoping to relieve some of her stress. She chopped and chopped, forcefully swinging down the axe with more force than necessary. She almost didn't hear the voice behind her with her pulse ringing in her ears.

"I think that's more than enough wood, Ackerman!" he called, raising his voice so she could finally hear him. She swung down the axe and placed it back into the stump's wedge, then turning to glare at him.

"What do you want, shorty?" she hissed, obviously not in the mood for talking.

"Now now, that's no way to talk to your superior," he said, closing the distance between them. "You know, for a brat like yourself, I thought you would handle yourself better."

"What?" she asked. _Don't tell me he's noticed too._

"As your..._superior," _he said sternly, looking up at her, "I order you to tell me what's wrong."

"-_Wrong_? There is nothing wrong, sir."

He glared at her when she said this. "Cut the shit, Ackerman. You and that boyfriend of yours-"

"-He's not my b-boyfriend!" she corrected him, cheeks flushing, but he continued anyways.

"-have been acting strangely since Monday." He stared at her face and she blushed even more, unable to hide her embarrassment any longer.

"What?" she choked out, trying to keep her voice leveled.

"Did you two...finally have se-"

"No!" she denied, shaking her head. _God, I wish-Nope, stop right there, control yourself. _"No, we didn't! We did nothing of the sort."

"Then please, explain why you two have been acting like fools for the past few days. You've been doing extra cleaning around the cabin and chopping more wood than necessary. You're going to burn yourself out at this rate."

"My apologies, sir." she said, walking towards the bench next to cabin's back door, Levi following. Everything he was saying was true. She was doing things to keep her mind off of the incident. It was too embarrassing to think about.

"And Eren's been acting even more strangely than you are. He can't even transform properly." he grumbled, sitting down on the bench with her. She gave him a confused look and he took that as his cue to explain. Although, he was sure she would get flustered after hearing this next part.

Levi smirked, continuing. "For some reason, his _groin_ comes out bigger than the rest of his body. Thank whatever god is out there that titans don't have reproductive organs because when we cut him out, he had this raging bone-"

"Stop. Please stop. I don't need to hear anymore than that." she sighed and covered her face in her hands. Her face felt even hotter than before and once again she could feel her heart thump strongly in her chest. '_Was he thinking like that about me? Surely, Levi's joking. Eren would never...wait...would he? Mom always said boys were like that didn't she?'  
_

"So, can you tell me what happened between you two? I can't have the only weapon we have against the titans and humanity's _second_ strongest acting out of order." he said, letting out a small smile.

She brought her face out of her hands and looked at him. "Fine, I'll tell you." she said reluctantly. He knew he was gonna enjoy this, he could just hear the dread in her voice.

* * *

Levi let out a loud laugh, clutching his sides. He couldn't stop himself from letting it out, the way everything went down was too funny.

"Stop laughing! You said wouldn't laugh me." she punched him the arm, but he didn't care. He chuckled even more after that and struggled to regain his composure.

"Right, sorry. I just can't believe that little shit tried to take a peek-"

"I thought the same thing- "

"-and then you held onto his hand and stared into his _beautiful green eyes~._" he said, mocking her. She never really meant to tell him about that part but the words just slipped out when she was in a daze.

"Be quiet..." she mumbled, looking down at her clenched fists, blushing. '_I can't deny it because it's true, but still..' _

"Alright, so he saw you naked. Big deal. It's not like it's the end of the world. We have titans to kill, people to save, governments to overthrow." he said nonchalantly, casually leaning back and crossing his arms over the back of his head. "I need the both of you at the top of your game. Just go and talk to the shithead. Who knows, maybe things will go well between you two."

"Don't call him that." she said, hands gripping tightly onto her knees. "But, you're right. I should go talk to him." She stood up, dusting off the back of her pants, and walked towards the door. She gripped the knob and turned back to Levi who was still sitting down. "Hey," she called out, "thank you for the advice, sir."

She let out a small smile that he wouldn't have caught if he hadn't turned around. It reminded him of someone he used to know. The girl who always met glances with him from afar, who fought with him against titans during their time together in the Recon Corps, the girl who knew he liked he like his coffee black with exactly two and a half cubes of sugar. She always teased him about how tedious he was. He was going to ask what took her so long to come back, how he missed her, where the others were, and run up to embrace her, but he stopped himself. This wasn't her, this was Mikasa. The girl he loved, the only one who ever managed to open up his heart, she's gone now. '_They're all gone now and she -_they_\- they're never coming back.'_ He gripped the ends of the bench, so hard the whites of his knuckles were showing. He fought back the tears and looked up at her. _'This isn't her, this is Mikasa'_ he reminded himself.

"You're welcome," he said, voice wavering. He wasn't about to give in. "You know, you don't have to call me _'sir'_ all the time." He couldn't show weakness as her superior."Now go, get him to fall for you." he winked, uncharacteristically sticking his tongue out in an attempt to look cute. It grossed her out and she winced at that, muttering an "Ew, gross. Stop that." He smirked at her and she spoke again."Thanks...Levi." she quickly said, shutting the door behind her.

The way his name rolled off her tongue, the way she smiled at him before. It brought back so many memories at once. They all just kept rolling in.

_"Sir, I-"_

_"You know, you don't have to call me 'sir' all the time." he took the cup of coffee from her, holding it in the odd fashion he always does. She looked confused.  
_

_"Then what should I-" _

_"Just call me by my first name, when we're alone that is. Come on now, say it." he walked over to her, taking a sip of his hot coffee. _

_"L-Levi..." her voice sounded out. He blushed at that. The way she said it was just too cute, she couldn't even look him in the eye. She was twiddling her thumbs, looking at the floor. He set his cup down on the table beside him, leaning forward to cup her chin in his hand. _

_"Look at me," he whispered, pointing her chin upwards so that she'd be forced to look his way. "Say my name."_

_"Levi-" she squeaked, her voice barely above a whisper. "I, um, I-" _

_He closed the distance, leaning in, and- _

"Petra-" he choked out, tears streaming down his face. He tried to fight them back, he really did. He ran his hands through his hair, pulling and tugging before wrapping his arms around himself, gripping his jacket with excessive force. The memories were too much for him. _'I should've never kissed you that day.'_ He remembered the way her chestnut hair flowed through the wind, how she always smiled around him, how her lips tasted like honey and how he never wanted to stop kissing them- everything was too real, _too vivid._ It felt like she would come back at any moment and ask him what was wrong, but deep down he knew he was wrong. _'Why can't I move on? Why can't I stop loving you?'_ His body was body was racked with sobs as more tears streamed down his face and he hunched over and hoarsely uttered the only words he could:

_"Oh, Petra."_

* * *

Eren paced around back and forth, explaining the events up until now. Armin sat on his bed across from him, taking in all the information. "Ah, I see...so that's what happened."

"Not only that, but she had th-this journal," he said going into the cabinet by his bed, fumbling with books here and there. He pulled out the journal and tossed it to Armin. "She talked about how she wanted to protect me this whole time, how she's just looking out for me, how," he swallowed harshly, "-_how _mom_ told her to look out for me..._" It sounded like he almost had to choke out the last few words. "She talked about how she felt when she thought I was _dead_, Armin. There were stains on the page..._she was crying, for god's sake_. I wasn't there for her Armin. God, I'm such an asshole to her all the time. All I do is whine and complain." he said slapping his palm to his forehead, scowling.

"Eren, it's fine. People make mistakes. You didn't mean to see her like that, it's not your fault. You just...came at the wrong time." Armin said, trying to reassure him.

"Thanks, Armin..." he said, smiling at first, but then frowning once more.

"Is there something else that's bothering you?" he asked, quirking a brow.

"Um, yeah. There's this page in there-one of the recent ones-that's been bothering me...she talked about being close but distant at the same time and I got confused. I was interrupted while I was reading it but I haven't looked at it since then. I had this bad feeling in my gut...I'm afraid to find out what's on the next page...Will you read it for me?" he asked, surprisingly polite. "Page 85, I think."

Armin opened the little journal, flipping through it. "Ah, here it is." he confirmed, beginning to read the journal's contents.

_Page 85_

_Eren scolded me today for going out to chop wood. He thinks I should still be resting and that I need to heal completely. It's nice that he's worried over me for a change. I think I'll cut back a bit on the physical activity-at least, when he's around that is. _

'Ah, I remember that. She was chopping wood when she was supposed to be resting. Not like Eren's complaining was going to make her go back to bed.' Armin thought, letting out a small chuckle._  
_

_...It feels like we've gotten a bit closer, but at the same time, we're still distant._

'Close yet distant? Hmm...I see what she means. Guess I'll have to talk to her later about this. Sorry, Eren.' he silently apologized.

_...Back then, during that last mission, in the midst of all the chaos, did he realize? Did he realize my-_

Armin turned the page and kept on reading. Eren sat across from him on the other bed, gauging his reactions in anticipation. His eyes widened, looking down at the words. As he kept on reading, the flush in his cheeks became apparent. He became redder and redder until finally he shut the book abruptly, laying it down next to him and covering his face in his hands.

_I knew you had feelings for Eren, Mikasa, but to write _that _is just-_

"A-Armin?" Eren asked, leaning foward, concerned for his best friend. "Are you okay?"

The blond teenager regained his composure and cleared his throat. "Eren.."

"Yes?"

"I think it'd be best if you didn't read that page." he concluded.

"What? Why!?"

Armin blushed. "What do you mean _'why?'_, she just conf-!" Armin made a series of noises that could only be described as inhuman and caught himself before he said anything else. "I-I mean...um.." Eren gave him a wierd look and was about to ask what he meant by that and why he sounded like a banshee but he allowed Armin finished his statement. He sighed, continuing, "Look Eren, it's in _your_ best interest if you _don't_ read the rest of it. _Trust me_. Besides, you have to find a way to give it back without her knowing."

"Ah shit...You're right."

"It's either that or you have to tell her upfront about it."

"Y-you're crazy Armin! She'd kill me!" he stood up, yelling.

"Eren, quiet down!" he said, trying to hush him. "And no, she wont..." he assured him. Armin looked away and mumbled under his breath," She would actually rather do _several other things_ to you but I probably shouldn't tell you about that. "

"What was that?" Eren asked, eyeing him curiously.

"Oh, it's nothing Eren. I just needed to clear my throat." he tried to convince him, coughing a bit. Eren stared at him even more and wondered what was up with him.

"_Right_. So, uh, do you have any ideas on how to get it back to her without her knowing?"

"I think it would be better if you were just _honest_ about it but, _yes_, I _do_ have a plan."

"Great! What is it?"

* * *

Mikasa ran up the steps, the ends of her scarf trailing behind. She was going to turn the corner when another voice behind her once again called out to her. "Wait!" _'Why does this keep happening?' _she questioned internally. She turned around to face Jean, who was out of breath. He leaned his right hand against the wall panting, his other hand was holding something behind his back. "Mikasa, I-" he said, still panting, "-I wanted to, um, give you these."

His other arm came out of hiding, revealing a bouquet of roses from the garden out front. She was surprised, but accepted them nonetheless. "Thank you, Jean." she smiled. His cheeks reddened at that, _'God, she's so beautiful.' _"Well, you know it was nothing. I just thought it'd make you feel better." he smirked. "Well, um, did it?"

"Yes, it did. These are beautiful. Really, thank you. You're a good friend." Jean's smirk fell at the mention of 'good friend.' _'No no no, not a good friend! A love interest! Oh c'mon!'_ he thought, exasperated.

"Is that...is that all you think of me?" he asked nervously. "Can't you think of me as...something more?" he walked closer to her, looking down into her gray eyes.

"What do you mean?" she asked, oblivious to his intentions.

Jean groaned, slapping his palm to forehead. "For fuck's sake Mikasa, can't you tell!?" he shouted at her, although he didn't mean to. She was about to ask what he meant by that but was cut off by his lips pressed against hers. She didn't have time to react or pull away, she was too shocked to move out of his grip on her shoulders and waist. He slowly pulled away, eyes lidded. "Can't you see? I love you. I always have an always will." She was about to respond when she heard a clatter behind her. Jean's eyes widened, looking at was in front of him. She did a 180, turning around to see Eren's wide green eyes staring back at her, Armin coming out of their room to ask what was wrong, and her missing journal, open on the floor.

* * *

**A/N:** Holy shit. That took a long time to write. Would've been up sooner but oh well. Lol idk how to continue from here. I was kind of winging it till now. Any suggestions, comments, and quesitions are welcome. Sorry for any grammatical errors. Also I got kinda feely when I was writing that part with Levi.

/shamelessly asks for reviews, favs, and follows

Next update will be when I feel like posting it up, I got really lazy which is why it wasn't up on time so I apologize for that. Most of my issues were resolved and summer's been a blast so far. Just know it'll be up within a month's time (at most). See you guys later~


	4. Rejection Hurts

**A/N!: **Just to clarify, the scene where Mikasa and Eren storm out of the dining room is when I transition into **_Day 5_ (Friday)**, which we are currently in. Chapters 1, 2, and the beginning part of chapter 3 are all **_Day 1 (Monday)_**. Thanks **Sentinel07** for letting me know about the misunderstanding.

* * *

Armin and Eren had finished going over the plans to get the journal back secretly. They both decided that if they either of them were caught, they'd confess and tell the truth - that Eren had found her journal earlier and the fact that he read some of her most deepest and private parts. He wasn't sure if she'd forgive them if it came down to that, but he couldn't lie to her, not after reading all that. He thought it would be best to apologize to, for pushing her away constantly when she was only looking out for him. He didn't want to hurt her anymore than he already did and wanted to protect her like his mom told him to. Armin told him to go on ahead, saying he needed to use the bathroom real quick. He walked out of his room with a clear mind and heart, he was going to apologize to Mikasa weather she found out about the journal or not. However, what he didn't expect to see Jean and Mikasa standing so close together in the hallway. He seemed almost _too_ close.

Mikasa was holding a bouquet of roses and from what Eren could make out she thanked him for being a good friend. Jean's smirk fell at the mention of 'good friend'. '_Ha, serves him right. That's all you'll ever be. She'll never think of you the way you think of her.'_

Jean seemed to groan at that and slapped his hand to his forehead in frustration. "For fuck's sake Mikasa, can't you tell!?" he shouted at her. _Obviously not horse face._ He grabbed her, one arm against the small of her back, the other on her shoulder, and quickly pulled her against him. '_Woah woah woah, what the hell does he think he's doing!?'_ He was starting to get annoyed. Who the hell did Jean think he was grabbing onto Mikasa like that? Eren was about to yell at him for grabbing onto her in such a way, he could see the lust in his gaze, it disgusted him. '_There's no way Jean has the balls to do what I think he's gonna do..._' His unvoiced thoughts were cut off by the sight of Jean leaning in and kissing Mikasa, his firm grip on the journal loosening.

Jean pulled away, eyes lidded. "Can't you see? I love you. I always have an always will." She was about to respond to his confession but Eren dropped the small, brown book from his hands, interrupting the two in front of him. Whatever hopes he had that what he was seeing surely wasn't real were gone in an instant.

Jean looked up from Mikasa, eyes growing almost as nearly as wide as Eren's. '_Oh shit...' _Mikasa turned around to see what alarmed him so much. She didn't expect to see Eren Jaeger, the boy who's been the object of her affections for all these years, staring back at her.

* * *

She felt her heart drop to the pits of her stomach, a feeling of dread washing over her. "Eren, I-", she struggled to find the right words, "-this isn't what it looks like. I would never-"

"Save it." He said coldly, looking down at the floor and clenching his fists. Mikasa winced at that, the dread looming over her increasing with each passing second.

"Eren, let me explai-"

"No, you don't need to explain anything to me. I don't have the right to know anyways. I-! All I ever do is... h-hurt you..." His voice started wavering then. "Mom... told me to protect you, but it looks like I haven't been doing my job right, huh?" He looked up then, eyes beginning to water. He felt so betrayed that Mikasa would go to Jean of all people. He was going to make it up to her too. "Guess I'll have to give that duty to someone else..." _Why am I so angry? It's not like it's any of my business anyways._

"Damn right you will." Jean stepped in front of her, eyes pointed in Eren's direction. "Give it to me. Mikasa doesn't _need_ you." In that moment, his feeling of betrayal turned into one of anger. He changed his mind. _Fuck that. I need her way more than you do._

"Pfft. As if I'd hand it over to _you_." he scoffed. His blood was boiling. "_You don't deserve her!"_

"The _fuck_ did you just say to me, Jaeger!?" Jean speedily stomped over to where he was and leaned in, inches away from his face. "I don't think I caught that. _Speak up._"

"Get out of my face you freak, _your breath is killing my braincells_." Eren smirked, as Jean angrily grabbed him by his jacket. "You fucking- _ack_!"

"Stop it." The two were so busy arguing that they didn't notice Mikasa standing beside them. She grabbed the hair at the nape of their necks, pulling their heads apart and ultimately closing the distance between them, causing their foreheads to collide. They both fell backwards, rubbing their heads and muttering their discontent.

"Ow...What the hell was that for!?" Eren grimaced.

"It looked like it was going to get physical so I had to intervene." She crossed her arms and looked down at him with her stoic expression plastered on her face. "Now sit and be quiet for once." Eren was going to rebuttal but he could practically feel the killing intent from her aura, so he decided not to. _Even though I don't want to, __I should probably shut up for now. _He leaned his face into the palm of his hand, muttering to himself and picking at the wooden floorboards he was currently sitting on.

"I almost forgot how strong you were, heh. It's one of the _many_ reasons I fell for you." Jean interjected, scratching the back of his neck nervously. Eren made a gagging noise to signal his disgust, earning a side glare from Jean and a kick from Mikasa. Jean continued anyways. "I...I really do love you, Mikasa."

Her cheeks flushed, she was so busy worrying about how to explain the situation to Eren that she forgot to take his feelings into consideration. Though, it still didn't change the fact that she loved Eren. "Jean...thank you."

Now it was his turn to blush. "F-For what?"

"For your confession. It was very sweet." She let out a small smile, the likes of which made him even more flustered. "Thank you, really. It makes me...happy that you feel that way about me...but..." Jean looked crestfallen. Deep down he knew the truth.

"B-But what?" He saw it coming from a mile away. Mikasa would never feel the same way, not with Eren in the way anyways.

"I can't respond to your feelings in the way you would've wanted. I'm sorry, Jean." Eren felt a little happy inside but he didn't know why. Maybe it's because one of the people he hated the most was getting his heart torn to pieces right in front of him, who knows. Jean brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, burying his head into his legs and letting out a deep sigh. He knew the rejection was going to hurt, but he didn't expect it to hurt this much. _I should've known. Shit. Even when she's rejecting me, she still looks so damn beautiful. Man, I'm never gonna get over this. _

He emerged from his little bubble, sitting up straight and eventually standing up, looking down at her. Eren watched from the floor, attempting to patiently wait for them to get this over with as he scratched at the wood again. Of course, he wanted to tell Jean to take a hike but he didn't want Mikasa to get mad at him. _He better not kiss her again. Tch. Piss off already. _

"Can we...can we still be friends at least? Or you know, if it bothered you that much-" He started nervously rambling. _I mean, she did let me down easy but what if she wants nothing to do with me now?_ He began to look down at his thumbs and twiddle them in rapid motions.

"Jean."

"I can-um- I mean- we"

"-Jean!" He jumped slightly when she rose her voice, earning a snicker from Eren. He stopped adverting his gaze and looked directly at her. "Y-ye-yes?"

"Let's stay friends. But no more kissing, alright?" She extended her hand, offering him a chance to shake on it. The gesture made him flush to the tips of his ears. He grasped her hand with his. _Fuck. Her hands are just as soft as her lips. _

"...Alright." The handshake was brief, almost business-like, but he still wished it would've lasted longer.

"Um, can I ask you another question?"

"Go ahead."

"...Why him? Why couldn't it be me?" The question caught her off guard and she tried to hide the fact that she was flustered. Her stoic visage was slowly crumbling as Eren sent her a questioning look. A number of questions ran through his mind. _Him? Who's him? Is he someone I know? Why don't I know about him? If he's an asshole, I'll seriously beat the shit out of him. _

She avoided the questioning looks from the both of them, choosing to stare at the dirt on her boots and play with her scarf. "You...You wouldn't understand. He..." _He's all I have left. He took me in when I had no one else. He's the one person I can't ever lose. _

"Fine. You don't have to explain yourself right now. I understand." _Hah. There's no way she'd say it in front of him. Am I an idiot or what? _

"Thank you."

"And um, I'm sorry for kissing you like that. I ...got caught up in the moment." He started walking down the hallway towards the first door, marked "Horseface + Baldy", waving his goodbye. He turned to look at back at them, eyes flitting between Eren and Mikasa. "I'll, um, see you... around." he croaked, quickly opening and shutting the door behind him. She could've sworn he was crying.

Mikasa didn't know if he saw her wave back. "See you... later." Her arm dropped, going limp on her side. Although she felt bad that she had to turn him down, especially in front of Eren, which must've killed whatever pride he had left, she was glad she was honest with him. This made sorting out her feelings for Eren easier. Now she was more confident that her feelings aren't _just_ an obsession to protect him.

* * *

"Wow. I never thought he had the balls to confess."

Mikasa sat down beside Eren. Being beside him helped her relax sometimes. "What do you mean?" she asked, quirking a brow.

"Well, it's just that he's liked you ever since he first laid eyes on you. Hmm...I think he tried to confess in a lot of roundabout ways but you always ignored it."

"Wait. He...he's had feelings for me since our trainee days?" Now both brows were raised. Eren turned to her and did the same.

"Wait. You-You never knew?" He stared at her in bewilderment and she shook her head. "Holy shit. How dense can you be?"

Mikasa elbowed him in the side. "-Gah. Hey, stop hitting me Mikasa!" he frowned at her. She let out a laugh. He stared at her, taking in her playful expression. _Wow. That's kind of cute. Wait. No. Hold on. It's Mikasa you're talking about here. Get back to reality Eren. _"You're not the only one who's dense here."

"Hey! What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. I'll tell you about it some other time."

"Fine." he grumbled. He couldn't believe she was implying that he was dense too. _I'm just as smart. Hmph. I'll show her. _

They sat in a comfortable silence, basking in the light shining from the window. They listened to the sounds of nature outside, birds chirping, insects buzzing, the occasional chirp from the cicada. It almost seemed..._too_ peaceful, compared to the world they lived in. Mikasa broke the silence, standing up and walking a little bit farther along the hall before crouching to pick something up. "Hey, Eren," she began. He was about to ask what she was looking at before she turned around, little brown book in hand. _Oh shit. _

She waved it in front of him so he could take a better look. There it was. The dark aura surrounded her again. Eren felt a drop of sweat slide down his cheek as he gulped, attempting to swallow whatever fears he had and digest them into oblivion.

"You didn't think I'd forget about this did you?"

* * *

A/N: Wow. I didn't know how to get past the incident. Hopefully it's not too OOC :( I tried my best, lol. Sorry I took long to update, I've been unexpectedly busy this past month. Excuse any grammatical errors. When August rolls around, prepare for quicker updates ^w^. Feel free to leave any comments/suggestions. Reviews, favorites, and follows are always welcome. (But seriously, reviews always make me more motivated. *O*)


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